Parents and caregivers play a large role in the support of the patient and their siblings. Parents and caregivers have can have a difficult time balancing their needs, the patient's needs and the needs of their other children and they sometimes require extra support.
It is important for parents to realize the needs of siblings and that they require attention, support and open communication as much if not more than the patients. Siblings need age-appropriate, clear communication about what is going on medically with the patient as well as how the family is going to be affected. The information they provide should be clear and truthful to ensure the siblings continue trusting their caregivers and leaning on them in their time of need. Siblings will need someone to feel they can be honest with and who will listen to their concerns, frustrations or anger regarding the patient or the situation that has taken over their everyday family routine. Validation will be needed regarding any thoughts the siblings are having without any judgment or opinion provided.
Siblings may begin to feel “left out” and forgotten due to time focused on them decreasing because parents need to be with their hospitalized sibling. Some ways to alleviate that feeling are to:
- Create a schedule with siblings of when they will be receiving one-on-one time and try to keep with their routine
- Utilize close friends and family to fill in with the patient or the sibling depending on where the need is greatest
- Provide options for the sibling and allow them some choices and control within a situation when they have had very little control
- Emphasize to the sibling that it is no ones fault that the patient got sick
- Try to involve siblings in groups the medical facility may provide to allow exposure to other children who are facing the same situations
- Continue to encourage expressions of feelings both positive and negative and share you own frustrations about the illness itself.
- Reassure that the illness is not contagious and that there may be guidelines to follow on how to keep sibling safe and healthy and if it is educating them on how to keep themselves from being at risk
- Encourage the sibling to still perform tasks that they used to with their sibling before they got sick
- Respect privacy and find ways for them to express what makes it hard to relate
- Let siblings and patients settle their own disputes when necessary and they will be open and honest with each other
- Praise each attempt by siblings when wanting to play with patient or socialize with their own friends
- Allow for sibling to have own life outside of patients illness and express praise for wanting personal time
- Have siblings play a role in patients illness and hospitalizations
- Provide them with helpful roles to enhance a sense of need and importance
- Keep family and friends involved and helping because the care giver needs rest to
- Have siblings friends and parents come over so it is clear that the sibling can have normal play interactions and that others do not fear the illness
- Allow them to visit when desired and accept when they are not up to it
- Preparation for each visit both of the physical environment of the hospital as well as the patients physical appearance are important and answer any questions to the best of your ability
- Answer all questions clearly and honestly the best you can before visitation
- Have siblings pick out favorite photographs of the patient as well as create their own to help decorate the patients hospital room
- Have the siblings record reading books or sing songs to the patient so the siblings knows the patient can hear their voice and listen to them even if they cannot see them in person
- Write something funny patients likes or silly stories to hang above their bed to educate medical staff about a different side of the patient
- Have siblings pick out special toys, movies, cd's from home when a caregiver goes to the hospital so they feel a sense of contribution
- Make a video or send messages on the computer so patient can see what the sibling in doing when they are away from home
- Have them pick activities to play with the patient when they are visiting
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