|
Helping Your Child With A Move Dear Parents, Anyone who has moved knows that it is a stressful time, even under good conditions. Consider how difficult relocating must be for a child. Traditionally, we have worried most about our older teenagers and uprooting them from friends. In Caring for Your School Age Child, Ages 5 to 12, The American Academy of Pediatrics recognizes the "major adjustments" younger children also have to accomplish when relocating. When you are contemplating a move, include your children in the discussion at family meetings. If relocating is only a possibility tell them that, but if it is a necessity, listen to their concerns first before telling them that a move must take place. Be positive and talk about new opportunities and adventures living in a new home willbring. Be honest by saying that changes are difficult, even for grown-ups. Stress that you will always be there for your child and that you are a team. If you are moving due to divorce or separation, you need to be even more attentive to your child's needs or questions. Before a change in scenery can be discussed the child needs to be reassured that both Mommy and Daddy love him as much as ever, and that you will both continue to be a part of his life. Thank heavens, babies and toddlers are portable, and this is the easiest time to move your family. It will help your child to feel secure if his familiar belongings are unpacked first. Whatever you do, do not trust that special blanket or bear to the movers. Any tangible item that your child is attached to needs to move in the car with him. Let your toddler "help" unpack his things while you find your silverware.
When children leave their friends or a home they love, they experience a sense of loss. They might have no one to play with in the new neighborhood or have trouble making friends. It can be unsettling if the
new school is further ahead or behind academically. Young children may not have the words to explain exactly how they feel, so watch for signs of
unhappiness, such as increased clinging or negative acting out. Keep track of grades and homework. Try and make dinner a time when everybody sits down together and shares his or her day. Children can learn to express their feelings byhearing their parents express theirs. It is also a good time to offer suggestions in dealing with specific problems. Another idea is to have a weekly field trip to discover something fun about your neighborhood. A new ice-cream parlor will do just fine. Teenagers are the ones we always worry about during a move. School and academics are a major concern. Adolescents who transfer in to a new school do experience less support from friends or familiar activities. However, studies have shown that, except in the case of more than three moves during the school-age years,even teenagers do well in the long run. But, the transition period can be pretty bumpy. Provide a safety net of old friends through visits or the phone. Check out your new neighborhood. Notice what the kids wear and try to provide clothes that fit with what "everybody is wearing." Open your home to yourchild's new friends and volunteer to be the driver to the mall. Keep up normal family routines; teenagers will never admit it but they still need structure and supervision. Like the old song says, "Accentuate the positive." Change is never easy, but with some understanding and effort it can be managed. It is worth the trip! JEANNE K. WEINTRAUB, R.N., M.S.N [ top ] |
|
|||||||
Elementary-age children present a few more challenges. If they are going to have their own room for the first time or a bigger yard, you have a great bargaining position. Keep in mind that children tend to think negatively about relocating. Before you move, visit your new home and town together. Visit the school and meet your child's new teacher, if possible. Leave the school visit with a map and schedule.
